And now you're leaving New York for no better place...maybe...

Ok so I was trying my best to resist writing about this but I can't take it anymore and just need to let it all out. I've talked to many of you about the recent events in my life and have asked for your advice. Many of you have seen me cry for the first time since you've known me and you didn't make fun of me and I thank you for hugging me and telling me it's ok. And while it is inevitably my decision and I shouldn't let what others say influence my choice, I'm still asking for advice. And since I can't make a list myself because the meer thought of it makes me cry, I need pros and cons of staying in New York and continuing at NYU versus leaving to go to Belmont in Nashville. This is if I get into the Music Business program here and if I get into the Music Business program at Belmont. Then I will have a huge choice to make. If they don't take me here and I get in there, then I'll probably leave and it will probably kill me but I would be back in 2 years no doubt about it. And you can come visit me in Nashville which is actually a really cool place. I promise you. So yea I have all the pros and cons for each place in my head but they're all mixed up. Blah.

Today I was at Guitar Center waiting for Ian to go on break so we could eat and I was downstairs playing with the keyboards when my phone started ringing. I thought it was Ian wondering where I ran off to and then I saw that it was my Uncle Tony. I haven't seen/talked to him in a long time and I guess my mom told him about my nervous breakdowns/"what am I doing with my life" phase and he wanted to see if I was ok and talk to me about it. Really sweet. But I had to go eat so I couldn't talk to him. He's calling me tomorrow and I'm actually kind of nervous to talk to him. He's gonna tell me to go to Belmont. He likes that place. Ahhh.

On the bright side, I haven't cried yet today :)

AND my mom is mailing me cascarones so we're going to have Fiesta here. Cascarones, salsa, Mexican theme all over...it will be great and you will come and dance and eat. And it will make me happy to share this with you all and not be sad that I'm missing it.

My brother has decided to go to UT Austin. Yay brother! He was actually thinking of going to Vanderbilt and was going to visit but then his friend's mom said that it's full of frat guys who wear their collars popped up and girls with Louis Vuitton bags who probably all think their the Olsen twins. Yea, my brother would have beat the crap out of all of them. But if I went to Nashville and he did too then we could be friends...actually he still wouldn't talk to me...until I turned 21.